Addie: “I gave Anse Dewey Dell to negative Jewel. Then I gave him Vardaman to replace the child I had robbed him of. And now he has three children that are his and not mine. And then I could get ready to die.” — Wm. Faulkner, As I Lay Dying
I’ll be ready when the tenses of
time blend into the direction to Jefferson.
And when each child leads the way.
Even little Vardaman, who tried so hard
to save and resurrect me from death.
Darl’s now the war that broke him.
Jewel’s pride is in loving his horse.
They both love and hate me for
the sins they are and I will
never atone for their sins or mine.
I know the truth that Dewey Dell
will never understand. I know my daughter
will live without grace in a world
full of men. She will share our
weight even though I have shorn it.
I had cared for Anse once, but
listening to the sound of Cash’s plane,
his beveling coffin boards, I can’t feel
the ancient pity that Anse raised in
me so long ago. It is gone.
That absence crosses the distance of five
children, each one a testament to my
pain and rebellion, all of which they
will never understand, even when they follow
the path of my transit to Jefferson.
March 2026
Rob S. Friedman 